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So how do that leave you? Better, the objective nowadays wasnaˆ™t to produce a determination just beforeaˆ™re ready (whileaˆ™re not). The aim is to learn how to become a good partner and now have a wholesome relationship, regardless of if this specific partnership might conclude. And that means two things: (1) getting a better understanding of your own ambivalence (and your indecisiveness more generally speaking), and (2) learning how to talk in a far more direct means.

Someone can be stuck-in ambivalence about having kids for a variety of reasons. Sometimes people who had troubled relationships with their parents growing up are afraid of repeating those patterns, worried that they wonaˆ™t know how to give their children something that they themselves didnaˆ™t get. For those whose attachment needs werenaˆ™t met, the idea of being responsible for a child can also trigger resentment that goes something like: I still havenaˆ™t gotten my own needs met, so the last thing I want to do is sacrifice my needs for someone else. Other people may have seen friendsaˆ™ relationships suffer once they had children, and are afraid of losing the connection they currently have with their partner. Many people also hesitate to have kids because of the financial and professional adjustments that might be required. A therapist can help you to explore whataˆ™s going on for you, which in turn will help you know what you want. Читать далее “Those are various styles of ambivalence, which can be in which their telecommunications have received”